Right. I get weird dreams.
Ah, shit, I’ve just lost followers because I’m weird.
I have weird dreams. As in, REALLY weird dreams. The other night, for example, I had a dream where my boyfriend Patrick (yes, I do have a boyfriend, I’m not making him up; he’s got a face and everything!) jumped off of a fucking bridge.
(By the way, I’m currently on the phone with Patrick, and he’s just confirmed that he’s, and I quote, “taking a shit”. He meant “taking the piss”, but he’s a fucking idiot)
ANYWAY, I DIGRESS!!
He jumped off a bridge. He jumped off a fucking bridge.
A FUCKING BRIDGE.
I woke up in a bit of a state (probably Ohio) and I was upset. Then I realised it was a dream. So I messaged him. And he confirmed that he definitely wasn’t dead.
Later that day, he threatened to jump out of the window. He threatened to jump out of the fucking window.
THE FUCKING WINDOW.
Dramatic shit that my boyfriend is…